The Perfect Evening

This is from last Wednesday. I’ve been trying to write more often, both to work through stuff that stresses me out and also to remind myself of the really good moments and capture them to read back on later. I’m really glad I wrote this evening down. It was just a regular evening, but everything just seemed to fall in place, and it was fun. I didn’t feel super stressed out, which is what I really needed, because it had otherwise been a really stressful day before I got home. 

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Last night, little man fell asleep with me on the couch, and it was the best feeling in the world. Prior to that, we played outside for a long time before dinner and inside playtime and bathtime. Outside, Kam ran around the porch in his walker and watched me water plants and grill our pork loin for dinner, and then he had his bottle out there while we waited for the pork to finish cooking. Once we went back inside, we were all ready to chill out for a little bit. I could tell Kam was content. His belly was full for the moment, and when I put him in his pack n play so I could finish dinner, he didn’t scramble back up wanting back out; he just picked up his lovey and started quietly studying it. He likes playing with tags, so he was turning it over and moving the tag back and forth and just generally looking it over, it seemed. I love watching him study and figure out things.

After his bath, we played on the couch for a little bit, and then he eventually settled in with me when he heard “The Greatest Show” being played on my phone. He was super interested in that (he’s always loved that soundtrack), so I pulled up the final scene of the movie, which started with the reprisal of “The Greatest Show”, and he laid down with me and watched it. By the end he was completely still, and when I got a look at his face, I realized he’d fallen asleep. We laid on the couch like that for about an hour before I woke him up to take his vitamin and have his last bottle of the night.

I live for evenings like this. We were all happy, not stressed, things went smoothly and we got all of our main important things done, including some things outside that needed done but really felt more like play/therapy than work. I didn’t do everything I had planned to do, but I always over plan things into my evenings anyway, and I do know that. Still need to bathe Tank and clean the hamster cages and put clothes away, but I kept the house clean, made a good dinner, and I spent quality time with Kam and Darryl and didn’t feel overly pressured to do too many things at once. I didn’t feel like I was failing.