Saturday, September 3, 2011

Today's To-Do List

So, today has been pretty darn productive. Finally!

I don't have much to write about right now; plus, I'm really tired.

Today's To-Do List:

Clean fish tank
Vaccuum
Wash dishes
Laundry
Take out trash
Read through research paper and analyze it
Type notes
Blog
Study for trig quiz
Work 5-close
Honors readings and journals
Call farrier
Hang up posters and pictures

I feel pretty good about all of that. lol  I realize this is probably not interesting to anyone but myself, but I am all about lists and being productive.  And last year it never seemed to happen.  I'd make lists and then not want to do anything.  This year, I'm trying to start off right.  Get into good habits early on so that it's easier to maintain them later when things start becoming more difficult.

So far by doing this I've managed to keep up with the work - what little of it there has been.  I know it's going to be harder as the semester progresses, but by typing up my notes for genetics and cell bio each day, I'm hoping to avoid all of the "ohmygodit'salmosttimeforthetestandIdon'thavemynotesreadytostudy!" stress that happened almost every time last semester.

A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders this semester as well, completely outside of my own OCD tripping me up.  There were people last year that judged and put me down every chance they got - and for some idiotic reason, I thought this person was my friend.  Now that I know they are not and they are not in my life anymore, I realize just how much that affected me.  I didn't realize it at the time.  I was blind to it.  But looking back now, I honestly believe this person was the source to a lot of the things I thought were wrong with me last year.  It must have been a subconscious thing.  Every time this person said something negative about me in the guise of a joke, I laughed it off and told myself they weren't serious.  Now that I know how they feel about me (said "friend" has not tried to keep in touch despite a couple of tries from me this summer), I feel like all of those things that were said did get to me, even when I wasn't aware of it.  A lot of the things I was down on myself about stem back to things that were said by my "friend".  Summer and distance from them gave me a lot of time and perspective to think all of it over and come to these decisions.

Now that I'm back here and said person is at a different school, I feel like a completely different person.  I feel better about myself.  I feel more confident.  I've made new friends - ones that I know aren't going to do what this old one did - simply because they are decent people and he was not.  These friendships aren't going to be one-sided like that one was.  And I still have my old friends - the ones that were actually there for me - really there - last year.  

It feels like it is going to be a much, much better year.